Sunday, May 21

Hey folks!

It's been a good week and a good day. Why? Because I got to hang out with Neal and that's the best time ever. We drafted Magic Friday night at the Den and Neal won and I got 4th, because we're hot shit. Then we went to Shitty Smitty's today at noon, for what I thought was a sealed deck tournament, but it turned out to be a Type I constructed deck tourney for 3.50. (Enter long magic rant that nobody will enjoy or understand but me:) Since it was so friggin cheap, we decided to play anyway even though we didn't have set Type I decks. We grabbed some decks we already had and played and Neal got 5th and I got 2nd! All I can say is woot, we are some fantastical magical bitches in a matchup. There were only 11 kids there so the prizes were only a pack for 5th and three packs for 2nd, but considering the winning deck was insanely pricey and everyone else came in prepared and we weren't, I think we rocked.

The only problem is that Smitty, the store owner, is an anal douchebag. Seriously, he's so anal about the rules. It wasn't even a sanctioned tournament, it was just casual! So he yelled at me for not tapping my lands 90 degrees (they were tapped like 60 & nobody cares!!), and after a game I was putting the lands back into my deck spread apart and he yelled at me for stacking. Since I'd be shuffling for the next 10 minutes anyway waiting for others to finish their matches, it was just him being anal and bitchy. My opponent, kids next to me and kids across the table all backed me up that it was a moot point, and Smitty got so pissed off he started swearing at me and us, ("FUCK YOU GUYS!!") and threatened to kick me out of his store, ("If you don't like it you can GET OUT of my STORE!). He also yelled at us for watching other games after we were done and waiting for the next match to begin, and not staying in our "assigned seats." Smitty and his store are a joke amongst players b/c he has no people skills or business skills, and I almost got kicked out because of my sarcasm and pointing out his lameness to Smitty.

So after the tourney, we went to Neal's house and spent the next 20 minutes drawing a picture of Smitty's School Bus, with Smitty as the bus driver yelling "Stay in your assigned seats!" and shaking his fist vehemently. The bus had run into a kid who was saying in his dying breaths, "but I tapped my mana correctly...". The bus was also on fire. One kid in the back was on fire yelling "I have to PEE!" (b/c Smitty has no bathroom in his store). The next kid up was saying "I want to leave!" another kid said, "this chair hurts my spine" (b/c Smitty's chairs are cheap). We drew two magic cards, labeled "same magic card" with one at 8.00 and one at 12.00, b/c I noticed that Smitty charged those prices for a magic card and I laughed at his lack of competency in establishing a price for his cards. There were cards spewn about labeled "Expensive magic cards--(Smitty doesn't know where they are)" b/c Smitty is very disorganized, just has piles of cards, and when I requested to see some cards he couldn't find them, insisting, "I know where they are, I just can't find them." Once, we saw a Black Lotus on top of one of these piles. For those of you who don't know, a Black Lotus is THE best, most expensive card out of the 6000 cards printed and sells for $750 on ebay. The fact that it was just sitting there --unprotected!-- next to uncommons is the pinnacle of Smitty's incompetence. After seeing if the Den would hang it up (denied) we posted it on Smitty's door. He was closed b/c he has shitty shitty hours and just leaves whenever he wants, randomly. I wonder what he'll think?///////////////////////-----------------------BOOYAH!! Well now my enter key stopped working so it's all cluster-fucked. Anway, I leave next Saturday for Anchorage, Alaska and then I'll be transported all over the place. If you want to contact me write me an old fashioned letter like the pioneers used to do: My Name SAGA HC 52 Box 8855 Indian, AK 99540. Have a great summer/fall. I'll miss a lot of you. ~Peace out, wiggas.


Blogger Kate undoubtedly said...

HEY YOU!!!! Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you. I miss you a bunch, we have so much catching up to do! You should be home soon, it is November now, weren't you supposed to get back in October? Drop me a line when you have a chance, I'll be stalking you until then!

2:40 AM  

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In the year 2006 I resolve to:
Blame Canada.