Tuesday, November 15

Sometimes I wonder what I was dreaming about, and so begins this tale. It may help if you read it in George Carlin's voice.

I was dreaming I was at a comedian performance and I was reading the jokes. I was there for a while, and I recall saying the jokes, I just don't remember what the jokes were. WTF! There were dozens of them. I know they were funny, because I was laughing in my dream and so were all the people in the audience. Then I wake up in the real world and I can't remember what they were. Was it stuff I already know? Or, maybe in this twisted dreamland, it wasn't funny at all. It was just something odd and I somehow thought it was funny. Something like: "you ever remember tomatoes? They're red!" and that would be the joke. It wouldn't pass as a joke in the real world, but in Dreamville, hey, it was good enough to sell out a concert hall.

We twist stuff all the time in our sleep. We've all experienced it when someone's calling our name to wake up, so suddenly someone in our dream appears and they're talking to us. We don't doubt for a moment that our dream is fake; it all makes sense. Only in our dreams can we shift from fighting other people's parents in the streets to running in a field talking to a dog and think it's real.

And what about recurring dreams? I used to have this dream where I was being chased by a Giant through a forest on my property, and then I'd end up suddenly falling off a cliff before I'd wake up. I don't know what the significance of it was, but I'm thinking it was a warning not to run from Giants, but to talk to them and ask them what their deal is.

And have you ever noticed how you never die in your dreams? Like, I'd be falling off a cliff, and I'd wake up before I hit the ground. Why not just keep dreaming? I could hit the ground and bounce back up to uppercut the giant then morph it into a puppy. Hey, it's just a thought. It seems like I should be able to control what I'm thinking when I'm thinking it, since it's all in my head anyway. Instead, despite creating ridiculously crazy (not just crazy) scenarios that would only exist in a dream, I still have to follow rules like: I can't die, and I can't gain super powers to solve my problems. Unless of course, it IS one of those dreams where I start out having super powers, but I won't delve into that for now.

The point is: I'm thinking it, I'm creating those scenarios, so why can't I remember it? I'll wake up and totally forget what just consumed the last four hours of my life in REM sleep, let alone the last five minutes of it.

The best dreams are the exceptions, the ones that somehow, you realize it's a dream, while you're dreaming, so you do whatever you want. Stuff you'd never do in real life, because you KNOW, absolutely, that none of this is real. I was at a millionaire's Ball one time (in a dream) and I realized it was such, so I walked around telling people their life was pointless because they weren't real (what a buzz kill!) Then, I flipped over some tables and started a food fight. I probably punched some people in the face just because I could, stole a car and went driving as fast as possible wherever I wanted. And yet, despite all this, I still couldn't fly, I couldn't turn some person I was talking to into Jessica Alba and make out with her, and I couldn't grow into Godzilla and stomp people. I know this because I thought it out in said dream and tried. So, even in the best scenario, when I realize it's all a dream, I'm still contained by the "rules" of the dream. Fuck that. My dreams, though usually cool, need to realize they're not tough, relax, and let me make the calls.


Blogger Casey undoubtedly said...

Tupac is dead. Stop him! END

1:40 AM  
Anonymous Phil undoubtedly said...

it's 2Pac you bitch!

1:41 AM  

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In the year 2006 I resolve to:
Blame Canada.