Thursday, November 10

Squids are the ULTIMATE Ninja creature. They are fast, with burst speeds up to 15 m/s, which is one of the fastest in the ocean, at an acceleration of twenty-five times gravity. Also, it can change color to hide! Not just in one place, like on the tentacles, but ALL OVER!! Tell me that isn't like a Ninja in a tree. On top of that, their mode of travel is JET PROPULSION. Traveling by jet propulsion speaks for itself in terms of coolness. Finally, squids can release a CLOUD OF INK behind them to confuse pursuers!! Just like a Ninja smoke bomb! They also have unblinking eyes, just like a Ninja. AND, when they get ahold of you, there is NO ESCAPE!! When you are fighting a Ninja, their arms go in a whirl of swordplay. Squids have EIGHT arms, and TWO TENTACLES!! I can't IMAGINE fighting that off! If you gave him swords, a squid would be UNSTOPPABLE. He watches, unblinking, hidden, then suddenly appears! Arms and tentacles are EVERYWHERE, and he can kidnap his hostage with deathly suction cup grips. A blink of an eye later, and he is gone, the only remainder is the black cloud of confusion, and the destruction he wrought is the only memory he was ever there.

[Flying Squid could own anyone!!]

Enter Ninja Rant: More Facts about Ninjas than Beans in your TUB!!

Some of you may be wondering, "what do you mean by Ninja?" A Ninja (note the capitalization; sometimes referred to as a "Full-Blood Ninja") could almost be considered a separate human subspecies. Regular people can becomes ninjas by practicing ninjutsu, but a Ninja is automatically born with the capacity to excell at the art. Ninjas are born from other Ninjas, and endowed with specific abilities through heredity. A Ninja is faster, stronger, and more agile than a regular person by a factor of three or more (more if they work at it, less if they don't). Ninjas have the natural ability to make themselves disappear into dark enough shadows, although the ability to teleport is an unconfirmed legend even among Ninjas. I think I saw a Ninja fly once, but I'm not sure if I actually saw it or if it was my imagination. It's also a well known fact that Ninjas flip out ALL the time. Ninjas don't kill themselves, only other people (suicide is for Samurais). When a fight is over, the Ninja will never shake your hand, because Ninja's never lose, and ALWAYS fight to the death if they want to. Ninjas are way tougher, faster, and sneakier than regular people. They are shadows in the wind, and that creak you heard wasn't a Ninja, because they're quieter than that. They're also more tenacious than regular humans. It's a fact that Ninjas can't be beaten by mortals, except when pitted against other Ninjas. Sometimes they like to throw Ninja stars and miss, just to see the reaction on people's faces! Ninjas are sooo cool, I could talk about them all day AND crap my pants. If a Ninja wants to humor you, he will talk like a pirate while killing you. Ninjas think Pirates arrr a joke. They're also crazy good with poison darts and bloguns. They spend most of their time training at hidden places that nobody knows about except other Ninjas. They are usually serious and very wise, but you can't let your guard down because they have a quick temper and won't hesitate to kill a non-Ninja. This is a Ninja----> Back to Squids:
I love squids SO MUCH, I just don't want to give one a hug. All those tentacles would gross me out and it would suck. It also might try to stuff me in its food hole.

Squids are frickin' amazing. Most are less than eight inches (compare that to your part!), but Giant Squid have been found at 18m in length(59ft-don't compare that to your part or you may lose confidence) and weigh 1,980lbs!!! They live mostly at depths of 200-700 meters, and scientists don't even know where they live in the sea. One has never been seen live in its habitat.

This is a Squid that got SUPER PISSED and attacked some villagers.

Travel down to 1000m and you'll find a different kind of squid 7ft long and up to 134lbs, the Taningia danae. This creature has the largest light emitting organs of any animal for defense. In the deep sea, that is killer blinding, believe me: I was trying to capture one. They are also very intelligent creatures, compared to the fish and whatever else is around. They're like Einsteins sitting around a bunch of rednecks, so they chill together and make fun of everyone, giving tentacular high fives after a funny joke.

some of the facts are from:

B.) my Evolutionary Biology Lab notebook

C.) my imagination

also, the intro to Ninja rant was from Squid Ninja comics


Anonymous Caitlin by day undoubtedly said...

I would so rather be a ninja than a pirate. Once a pirate came up to me and said arrrgg drink some beer little wench, and suddenly a ninja star slammed into his face and he fell to floor, blood gushing. Ever since then I've been searching for my ninja.

11:57 AM  
Blogger Casey undoubtedly said...

that's awesome

12:45 AM  

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In the year 2006 I resolve to:
Blame Canada.