Friday, November 4

This post is not for the easily offended. Proceed with caution. So...
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This is America. These people celebrate our freedoms, and they clearly deserve it.

Note the scrolling bar at the bottom. I love "retro caveman dresses like a monkey."
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Now it's time to address some insults I've observed circulating in my college campus hall. The kids in my dorm are loud jerks that get drunk and swear at each other. It is my intent to poke fun at their idiocy. Here's my guide to cursing for those that struggle for the right words in a critical moment:

1.) "Fag"-this is your general, cover all bases insult. It is generally used on people who aren't actually gay, but it doesn't really matter. I like to dress it up by saying "faggity fag."

2.) "Idiot"-this has changed meaning slightly since that overhyped movie Napolean Dynomite. Remember that if you use this word, it's a safe bet at being accurate. It's more PC than many other insults.

3.) "Fuck tard"-this one's original. It combines the implication that they're retarded with the word "fuck," which is sure to offend everyone. Very effective.

4.) "Dirty Cunt"-ooooo. Good one. Your knowledge of the female anatomy proves you're more intelligent than me. It's kind of like calling someone a "cock" while implying bad hygiene and that they're a girl, which is the worst insult ever.

5.) "Whore, slut, cum dumpster"- this slew of insults is most effective when strewn together all at once, along with the combination of adjectives. It's very impressive if you say, "you dirty, ugly whorish smelly slut. You suck, you're stupid and you're smelly. I guess you didn't get the message: the city voted to remove all cum dumpsters in this area."

6.) "Bitch"- this one isn't very funny or useful as it is too short a word and used too much. However, if you tack it on to the end of your statement, it leaves them with a slight sting; "What now, bitch?" ouch.

Remember, when insulting someone, it doesn't matter that the words apply, just as long as they're bad words. Do this, and you're sure to turn some heads with your well-thought out remarks.
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I'm sorry for cursing in my post, but it is strictly for educational purposes to assist people who can't come up with actual good insults. If you are truly offended, please write out your comments on a crisp 100 dollar bill and send it to me.

3 Comments:

Blogger you think you know me undoubtedly said...

lol
i love ur blog, very funny. you have a great insight. but u forgot felthcher :D ;)

6:04 AM  
Blogger Casey undoubtedly said...

I didn't forget it. Nobody in their sane mind knows what "felthcher" is. To have full effect, an insult must be mutually understood between the insulter and the insultee.

9:05 PM  
Anonymous Phil undoubtedly said...

WTF!!

11:12 PM  

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In the year 2006 I resolve to:
Blame Canada.