Wednesday, November 23

I'm not much of an interior decorator, but I do know what makes everything look better: fire. Fire goes well with everything. Nobody ever looks at fire and goes, "ick...tacky." If fire didn't turn things into ashes, but could rather keep going continuously with no huge fuel cost, and it didn't produce large quantities of smoke, and the heat wouldn't cook you alive....a lot more things would be on fire right now for fashion purposes. Certainly, everything of mine would be. Sometimes when I'm just walking around I picture everything in flames...hot!

When I see a kid (5 years old or younger) running, I always imagine him falling to the ground and start crying. It makes me laugh inside.

Old people are to be humored because they have lived longer than me and I will eventually most likely become one of them. It's highly irritating when they reappear every STINKING YEAR. Sometimes I'm waiting in line and they take up the space with their oldness. It's a shame it's not socially acceptable to grab an old person by the folds of their wrinkly neck, yank them out of line and drop-kick their ass back to Minnesota where it belongs. Plus, I might hurt my foot.


Anyone with a Chihuahua or Poodle needs to be immediately cleansed from society. And all blogs are worthless studies of how much any idiot can write about his or her own worthless life. In fact, anyone with a blog is stupid.

Manners are not in style.

Which is better: to gripe about politics or celebrities. Worse? I'm getting the feeling that the E! Hollywood and shitty magazines supporting paparazziism are as dumb as as all those news articles about the Senate, Bush's talks, and government press releases.

Body Paragraph--[eliminated to due to time constraints]


In summary, Joe the Tool is no better than Captain Foreign Policy Discusser. They're both pointless. If I want to be happy, I cannot allow myself to ever write about celebrities or politics, and that's a scientific fact. I don't want to learn or overhear anything more about either. Stop fussing over other people's lives and do something with your own. Anyone who disagrees is wrong. Am I right?

Oh those silly goats.
http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1119129342

Something entirely different:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/mensroom

Finally, I must cut to the picture of the day:

This is how I travel. I even have the same tweed hat.

totally awesome...

Now I'm off for Thanksgiving Break to consume as many turkeys as the next man or woman. Hopefully this post will stave off your cravings for more until I return next week! Cheers.

Tuesday, November 22

This is me smashed. In this picture I apparently decided to be a pirate. I don't remember that night or why I'm wearing an eye patch. I'm following the trend of everyone having a drunk picture of themself on the internet. Posted by Picasa
I do not have a picture of me on my computer, so I drew a rough sketch so you get an idea of who's talking to you. The drawing came out a lot better than expected. If I can keep up this kind of work, I'm thinking about majoring in art.

Monday, November 21


This is something that makes me go, "WTF!!" time and then time again. It's something that through its deep messages, it just gets funnier and funnier the more you look at it. I'm not endorsing this website, but it makes fools laugh through its absolute oddity. Maybe I'm just tired.
Also, let it be known that viewing more than 50 of these comics in a sitting will lead to seizures and death, and hiccups. Go if you feel like stupid joke time. Good night, minions!
A big no-no

I am very sad. I just read my email, which had someone from this arbitrary extra-credit group saying we were meeting today at 10:00 and it's almost 11. So I'm like, "fuck no" because I missed the last group meeting because I slept through my alarm. The gist of the situation was that me and four other people were doing a project on the evolution of the heart in vertebrate mammals. So I'm like, "Fuck!!! I can't believe I just missed two meetings! God damnit! I'm gunna have to bust my ass over break now and email everyone and say I'm sorry and get caught up." I finally get over this and read the next email, it says: "Remember to show up to your extra credit presentations tomorrow at 12:30 in Hochestetter room 223. A reminder for any groups that know someone will not be coming, I will not penalize you. I'm not singling anyone out, but if you do not go to your extra credit presentation, all your subjective points will be lost." This was dated Saturday. I check again and the one that said the meeting was tomorrow was sent 12:45am Sunday. It now clicks that I've just missed my entire extra credit presentation and lost all my subjective points. After about ten minutes of real, hard flipping out, I accepted what I could no longer change. Who needs subjective points anyway? What IS a subjective point? I don't even know. It's subjective. Whatever it was, I don't get any. I suck. Hardcore. Fuck it. I'm dropping out of school. It is the only way.

Sunday, November 20

I've discovered the word I like least of all in the English language: beaurocrat. Hearing this word is like that feeling you get when you drink a glass of milk and something thick goes down and you find out somebody put a snot rocket in that glass of milk, combined with blood boiling anger, like if somebody took your virginity without asking, or gave you a high five sarcastically. I don't fully understand why it sounds so awful, but perhaps it's that I heard some sophisticated talk show lady say it, in her slightly snobby way, talking about some boring boring topic I didn't want to hear on AM radio (I was forced into listening by my dad, who enjoys the sound of static on an AM radio station). Furthermore, this word is French, and therefore useless. Just look at its spelilng!! If it was an American word it would be Burrocrat, like a burrito combined with a rat, and the meaning wouldn't be far off from its root words. Instead, it starts of "beau," which raises your hopes. You think, "is it going to be "beautiful?" or "beauteous?" Then you hear the word, and your world comes crashing down. All your hopes and dreams are shattered, and the thought remaining that could end it all would be to end it all. If you are in my presence, please PLEASE avoid saying this abomination of a word. Thank you.

In the year 2006 I resolve to:
Blame Canada.