Saturday, March 11

I've heard of this thing called, "tagging." Once tagged by someone, the idea is you complete a series of questions about yourself, then proceed to tag some other people. However, seeing as I have no coworkers or fellow blogger friends who interact with me on this here blog, it is safe to say I will not get tagged. Therefore, I am tagging myself! Eat it, fools. No tag-backs.

Four jobs I've had:
1. Official Beer Taster
2. Ski instructor
3. Bunker Supervisor and Lawn/field Care Manager
4. Subway whore

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. I don't like to watch movies more than thrice.
2. Unless there are special circumstances.
3. But I like the comedy and action sorts.
4. The recently released porno starring your mom.

Four Places I have lived:
1. Canandaigua, NY
2. Osaka, Japan (2 years)
3. Beijing, China (1 year)
4. Alfred's and Buffalo's campuses

Five Shows I love:
1. Family Guy
2. Aqua Teen Hunger Force
3. Seinfeld
4. Simpsons (not as much as I used to)
5. Conan O'brian

Four highly-touted TV shows I don't enjoy:
1. Survivor (not deadly enough)
2. American Idol (the votes are blatantly rigged)
3. The OC (I saw some episodes and the script was horrendous)
4. Nanny 911 (British bitches bossing badly-behaving brats)
5. there are hundreds of shows that should go on this list

Four books I'd recommend to my friends, anytime:
1. Perks of Being a Wallflower
2. Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus
3. I Like Being Killed
4. Brain Sex

Four places I have vacationed:
1. Toronto.
2. various Carribean Islands.
3. 44 of the states
4. China.

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. some sort of meat sandwich
2. Spaghetti w/ balls
3. something Chinese
4. Lasagna

Four sites I visit daily:
1. My blog
2. Yep.
3. That's about it.
4. I don't have routine site checks.

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In Alfred/visiting any of my friends
2. At one of DJ Sutle's house parties/any party
3. My girlfriend's house/any girl's house
4. Australia/any distant place

Four of my favorite qualities:
1. honest (except when playin' around)
2. socially adaptive (I have really varied friends)
3. easy going (I find good in almost everybody)
4. I make the atmosphere comfortable with my magic

And I'm tagging:
1. your mom
2. your dog

In other news...
Gagne and I saw the Canandaigua Academy play, Music Man, starring Isaac Tayrien and Mrs. Drake's ridiculously cute daughter, and it was quite good. Our high school always puts in enormous amounts of time and effort into these productions, and we have a very strong theater program and talented actors. Few in the Rochester area can even touch Isaac's skills. And I saw several of my old classmates. Venessa is having a baby in October! And soo many people looked amazing. Seeing beautiful people makes me want to work out constantly so I can look like Arnold but much weaker. Anyway, I'll see people again tomorrow at Wegmans and possibly hijack my way into seeing it again, but tomorrow isn't Isaac, so it won't be as good. We'll see if Ben, Adam and crew convince me or not.

Friday, March 10

Cancerous fools always seem tough. I think of Lance Armstrong, or his wife Sheryl Crow. They're everybody's idol (isn't Lance...dreamy?), but not everybody can be those people. Not everybody beats cancer. Three of my grandparents didn't (the fourth died of the plague). I'm sick of people saying tearfully, "but I know he/she will make it through this and beat cancer....because Johnny/Susan is a fighter." Maybe they are, maybe not. I don't think your teary-eyed opinion is the reliable, non-biased one for me. I saw on Dateline yesterday a father who claimed his three-year-old was a fighter, and thus would beat his lethal disease. That's sad and all, but these people are deluding themselves. You can't know if they're a fighter or not, especially a mentally challenged one at three years of age. I've never heard of someone say, "Yeah, this cancer is going to beat him because he's not a fighter. He just sits there and takes it. In fact, he's a little bitch." Nobody does that for some reason. Nobody admits that they're fucked. I do. I'm sure hope helps the mind and increases their chance of survival, but on the other hand...face reality. People die. Children die. Eventually, everything dies. There's nothing you can do about it unless you are Chuck Norris.

All I ever hear is, "so-and-so's a fighter." What about the rest of the people? Don't non-fighters (pacifists) ever get cancer? If not, then pacifism is the way to go. The true way to beat cancer is to be the pacifist, the non-fighter, the closet-geek who gets his teeth punched in and his lunch money stolen by the fighters of this country. Don't worry; they'll get theirs. Just you wait. Remember, that's why God invented religion.

Mark always makes me laugh. His mom has breast cancer, and his whole family eventually gets killed by cancer, so his stance is that eventually he'll get it. He knows he's fucked. And that I can respect. Me: same thing. I'm fucked. I'll probably get cancer if I live to be old, but who wants to be old anyway? Nobody.

Only the good die young, right? That would explain why all the old people I know are creepy, smelly, clingy, grouchy bastards. If you can't take care of yourself, Darwinism says you die. If you were nice, people take care of you. If you were a bastard who beat your kids and everyone hates you--you get abandoned. That's the way it should be. And society shouldn't say, "Oh, you don't visit your parents? That's so sadly awful!" and guilt-trip you. You just say, "That's right. They were jerks and don't deserve my attention." Then punch the guilt-tripper in the face. I say, if parents were more worried about their future, they would either work harder to ensure they don't become reliant on their children later on, be nicer to their kids, or actually do some parenting. Some people are innocently born a cancer to society. Bad parenting is doing crap for this country. Not that this is a personal issue; I'm just saying what you already know.

Another thing: this computer only saves pictures in .bmp or .art so I can't post pictures. That's why this site is so ruthlessly boring and devoid of funny pictures between the clutter of text. However, I have good things to look forward to tomorrow, so I should stop complaining.

All in all, this post was a worthless diatribe. I guess I was primarily perturbed by the delusional father who adamantly proclaimed his retarded infant was a fighter, until I got side-tracked while stuck in my Maddox mindset, of whom Caitlin is justifiably prone to reminding me I am not. Thanks, Caitlin. I need those reminders. "And now for something completely different: A dead parrot."

~adios, bored patrons

Thursday, March 9

Word, y'all.

The sole purpose of this post is to express my intense love affair with a woman, a metaphorical woman by the name of This is a fantastic comic and everyone will like it (I recommend the current story over the archives). It has everything I ever wanted in a comic about ninjas and tells the story about the rivalry between Pirates and Ninjas. Dr. McNinja is this drunk Irish Ninja Doctor with problems and skills. He enjoys high fives. He enjoys high fives with animals. There's even Lumberjacks and Gorillas! Seriously, don't go another day without adding the Dr. McNinja elixir of happiness to your recipe of joy in the lunchtime that is the present. You'll thank me later. Or more probably, enjoy it but say nothing. But at least you'll enjoy it. I want to spread happiness like the Black Plague massacreing Europe in 1347. Especially the French. Dirty bastards. Jean-Claude Van Damme can stuff his acting in a box and mail it to the North Pole, which is equally nonexistant. (Jean-Claude, if you're reading this, I'm actually a fan. I was kidding.) For the rest of you, Jean-Claude really is a douchebag.

~Peace, y'all.

Monday, March 6

Ahh. I just had a wonderful conversation with Neal. Conversations make me feel alive. I guess that's what I miss most about life. I've been so wrapped up in my own thoughts. All the time, no ideas coming from anywhere but me. And it works pretty well for I have a pretty logical brain that assesses situations from many angles, but sometimes it just can't compare with a different point of view. It's that comment you wouldn't suspect; the unforseen joke; the words of someone living a different life. Examples:

(referring to caitlin...)
Nealblind: we both think we are smarter than each other
Cpjunkie6: hmm... you should have a series of games
Nealblind: don't say anything
Nealblind: okay
Nealblind: no
Cpjunkie6: and the winner gets to wear a shirt that says, "i'm with stupid"
Nealblind: find a metal girl
Cpjunkie6: one made of Bronze?
Nealblind: no
Nealblind: one with bronze
Nealblind: piercings
Cpjunkie6: haha, i'll make that my plan B
Cpjunkie6: plan A being find one without bronze piercings
Cpjunkie6: but thanks for your support
Nealblind: that is quiter's talk
Cpjunkie6: haha
Nealblind: there are plenty of those

I get a kick out of Neal. He humors me while being humorous and serious at the same time. His large words frighten me though, like hedonistic, misogynistic and poogas. I learned how dumb people feel, gripped by the firm hand of ignorance. I used to use big words without realizing it back when I read constantly, and kids daily would say, "stop acting smart with your big words," or some crap like that. Problem solved, because I've forgotten my vocabulary. I love exercising my humor, or saying things that people say, "that's so quotable," (this happens often when I am under the influence). But I also love hearing it from others. I also love how he doesn't use the word "lol" in AIM-speak. It's too high school girlish. Don't get me wrong, I'm pro high school girls, but lol should not be used by a man more than necessary. And it's rarely necessary. An actual laugh will suffice. And never use lol when you're not actually laughing. That's abuse of the word.

I surf blogs for interesting reading material. Here's your blog quote of the day brought to you by a bubbly high school girl, and the letter J.

i love the weather man
he's my buddy
we tell each other everything
he doesn't often have anything
interesting to say
except things like
"small chance of rain today"
"hurricane *enter name* will hit *enter state,city,country* next wednesday"
so you see
he isn't very entertaining
and I often feel like hurting him
so he will stop telling me the weather
and do something interesting for once
but somehow
i don't think thats gonna happen anytime soon

Well, that's enough of my ramblings. I haven't rambled for a couple weeks, so you had to know it was coming. As always, I try keeping the reading full of content for all sorts of psychologically unstable people. Sometimes it's stories, sometimes it's updates on cool happenings, sometimes it's editorials, sometimes it's just stuff I find interesting.

The best part of running your own business--if you're not concerned about how many customers you get, you can do whatever you want.


In the year 2006 I resolve to:
Blame Canada.